My top 10 regrets before turning 30 — Part 1
When looking back at my early 20s, what I had been experiencing every year seemed to revolve around adapting to discomfort and changes with the ever-changing environment and pace of life.
Having spent two arduous years in the military became an important piece of insight that structured my perspective of life outside of school, and that eventually led me to take an unprecedented gap year.
At that tender age, having the uncertainty of not having anything sorted out made me often lose my ground but it somehow became very exciting at the same time.
However, it didn’t take me long enough to reach almost the end of my twenties, realizing that the sense of uncertainty will always be a constant no matter how sure you are of yourself.
But I did make several mistakes that I would have avoided if I have made decisions otherwise.
1. Not being upfront about my opinions
It can be difficult to make decisions, let alone making your opinions known to someone else. It is almost like a reflex to suppress our choices/will to voice out as we might be afraid that they can be offensive/outright dismissive if someone is clearly not supportive of your idea.
You might also be afraid to do so when you have experienced a poor experience when sharing your opinions with someone who is not receptive of it.
However, it can be a double-edged sword where you may have to live with a certain decision that you chose to be made in response to being considerate of others. Would we have otherwise be better off if we chose to be honest about ourselves?
It is tough but I am still working on it.
2. Not daring to try new ideas
One of the perks of having friends from various backgrounds is to having the means to be immersed with a spectrum of perspectives, soaking in the goodness of knowledge, and exchanging ideas that were not written anywhere else in the textbooks.
Some ideas were refreshing, but some could push you to make irrational yet rewarding decisions. However, it takes a lot of courage to try those that are not exactly aligned to your beliefs, in which can be daunting and risky.
Life is too short to hesitate and living the life you always wanted is just a step away.
3. Giving up before fruition
While working on projects that tends to interest me, it is often difficult to see it through because of the heavy commitments to many different aspects at the same time.
Even if I want to spend a big fraction of my limited time to complete them, it can be difficult when results are not reflecting the efforts spent on the commitment.
Passion projects are often the ones that makes us excited about but unfortunately not enough for us to quit our jobs to commit fully. Without producing any results, “giving up” seems to be the key for us to cut loss and move on.
How do you keep yourself accountable on the things you are determined to finish?
4. Unable to visualize failure before succeeding
Most people tends to skip this step because it is just too daunting or afraid that it can stop them from pursuing their goals.
The mere thought of surrounding yourself with uncertainty should suffice to cripple your excitement towards taking the leap of faith. That is probably one of the few reasons that the “just do it” mentality is instilled heavily within self-motivated/confident individuals.
Who is courageous enough to own up that the journey to success is only for people who is willing to take many major losses?
Who doesn’t want to succeed at their first try?
Not many people is able to visualize failures but it is definitely still a work-in-progress for most.
5. Indecisiveness kills
I personally struggled with indecisiveness for my entire life. When handed with 2 apples, I would attempt to examine and differentiate them before choosing the “right” apple to buy.
While we knew that it is impossible to choose the “best” decision, and if we do, who would want to embrace the least ideal choice?
However, when I was given the autonomy, it took a long time for me to execute any decisions even for the more minute and least important ones (in my opinion).
Having the internal debate is good but overthinking over making the most “ideal” choice can be detrimental as well.
If you want to progress further in life, start to learn to be more decisive and learn from the process, which can be really helpful when it comes to making decisions for your key milestone events.
Struggling to decide what’s best for yourself; it can be something for you to work on.
To be continued in my next article…
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About The Author:
Vince Law is a former Accountancy graduate from Singapore Management University, who recently transitioned from a Big 4 auditor into a software engineer, focusing on payments and investments in the banking industry.
He also works as a freelance writer who loves challenging mainstream views on current affairs and is a strong advocate of mental health and personal development.
For business queries, please feel free to reach out to me at lawyinkai@gmail.com.
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