Losing yourself to Social Media — Gaining the control back
Losing ourselves to social media isn’t just our physical being getting diverted into a world of deception, but our focus on setting expectations on the real stuffs being warped and consumed by perfect moments and dissatisfactions.
Oftentimes, we look at the highlights of someone else’s life and took it personally as if they already achieved the goal of surpassing or exceeding societal expectations even though it was just a way of them expressing their excitement towards a positive event.
After repeatedly seeing similar occurrences happening to few more individuals, we subconsciously created an illusion where we would expect our lives to feel the “same” or “better” if we did the same things. For instance, a friend who just bought a cat, having fun with it and the cat looking really cute in its cat house. That joyful moment was eventually coupled with envy and jealousy by the people who have seen the update, probably thinking otherwise.
What would possibly be the thoughts on both camps?
1. Get a cat and experience the same joy!
2. Cats are not for me, and I prefer dogs.
After an evening of envy, all the distractions of having the dopamine hits would be shifted and replaced by another event of the similar nature and our brains restart the whole process of creating this illusion where the moments shared online were of a common occurrence.
Cheap dopamine hits were blurred with false information and twisted reality where things were perceived as “fun”, “easy”, and “enjoyable” while in fact, they were the highlights of a compilation of horrible build ups. For that, it might take months or years for one to reach to the exact spot that we are curious about.
The unspoken months of burning late nights or arduous years of dedication contributed to their respective professions that simply flew by as we are constantly envying that were tied to financial successes, who would possibly be talking about it at times of stress?
Over the years of experiencing social media side effects, it channeled some unnecessary pressure to keep up with the joneses, and building the constant worrying on our existence in contributing to our professional lives and personal lives because we had to urge to feel that we weren’t doing “enough” to be considered “good” or “great” in the faces of the reality of social media.
The things you post became the topics over dinner, and often enough, we only pick the “good” stuffs to share and shit on someone else’s “bad” stuffs.
As degenerate as it can sound, this became pretty much the reality with some and for those who have almost “nothing” to update, the dinner chat becomes a 3-hour rant over the shitty corporate life, and mental torment he or she faces outside of the social media reality.
Does gaining the control back in any means ignoring social media altogether?
We do not necessarily think that social media is all bad per se as we often crave for online social interactions with our close ones and friends who we find comfort with, and I personally couldn’t resist my need to see the updates from my friends at any point when I am free for the day.
While most of us know that our brains are wired to experience envy and jealousy easier than anyone else, the probable solution at best is to understand the context of the situation, visualize it, and be happy when someone is experiencing a joyful event.
The feeling we experienced itself brings no harm to you but its the self-control and perspective we hold towards feeling it when it is not ours to celebrate and to be proud of that spurs ill-feelings towards the particular individual.
We can do much better by gaining our control back from social media if we practice a little self-control and self-awareness towards understanding that social media platforms are made to present our happiest moments to people who we think they probably care, and not a place to eradicate or take away our joy from.
If we can align ourselves to accept the usage of social media and true reality of things, we are much better off being “true” ourselves in this curated reality of social media. It wouldn’t be a stretch for anyone to regain their consciousness, and that itself can serve as a good reality check to hold themselves accountable for their mental well-being and happiness level.
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About The Author:
Vince Law is a former Accountancy graduate from Singapore Management University, who recently became a parent of 2 amazing cats (Ginkgo and Goji). After writing for over 4 years, he transitioned into his coaching business related to personal development and mental well-being at mentalhealthcoaching_sg.
He also works as a freelance writer who loves challenging mainstream views on current affairs and is a strong advocate of mental health and personal development.
For business queries, please feel free to reach out to me at lawyinkai@gmail.com.
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